It may seem that this would be quite easy for anyone to do. But the truth is the person who can simply walk up to another individual and ask for a date is in rare company. A minority of people have this sort of self-confidence.

When it comes right down to it, a simple question, face to face, might be the best way to ask. In most cases, the worst that can happen is the other person will answer, “No.” This doesn’t have to be a life-changing moment, but to some people the possibility of rejection is a major hurdle. In this case, the best response might be to look at the situation with a sense of humor. You gave it a try, so smile and move on.

Sometimes that’s very difficult. That’s why many people go a bit beyond the simple, one-on-one question. Enter here the ever-present “cup of coffee.” A relaxed atmosphere and a cup of this traditional drink have always been used to set the stage for a date or a relationship. Of course, if you don’t drink coffee or you know the other person doesn’t, you will have to substitute something for that cup of java.

Perhaps you enjoy riding a bicycle on a nice spring day. Ask the other person if they would like to join you. Maybe you are an avid reader and could break the proverbial ice by discussing favorite books. With any of these ideas, there are a couple of things happening. Not only are you putting yourself in comfortable position to ask about a more formal date, but you are also on a “date” when talking over coffee or walking through the city park.

Keep in mind that the person you are asking might be “put off” by the common suggestion of coffee or a movie. These two ideas are so traditional they have become a bit stale. Before you talk to that person you are interested in, give the situation some thought or talk it over with a close friend or family member. Try to come up with something a bit more creative. But don’t go overboard. Being too outrageous can bring about a negative result as well.

It might be good to simply introduce yourself and establish the fact that you are interested. Telephone contact is fine, if you and the other person are comfortable with that. If you decide to use the telephone for a first contact, make sure the time of day or evening is comfortable for the other person. After you have made contact by phone, engage in a little conversation and ask the question. There is a happy medium here – don’t be too “short” with the phone call but don’t drag things on either. You definitely do not want to “beg” or try another “trick” if you are refused. A simple thank you and hanging up is all that is needed.

If you are successful in making contact and the person agrees to something as simple as coffee or a bicycle ride, try to relax and ask about a more formal date when you feel the timing is right.


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Lucas Beaumont
Generalist. Wikipedia contributor. Elementary school teacher from Saskatchewan, Canada.

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