It may seem that there is way to get over a break-up with someone you really cared about. Moving on is possible if you allow yourself sufficient time, however. It may not be “easy.” In fact, the near future after a break-up will be very challenging at times. But you can survive it and get on with your life.
Some people feel helpless, empty and very alone in the time immediately after breaking up. These are natural feelings, something that nearly everyone will experience in this situation. It’s important that you don’t deny your feelings. But you don’t want to dwell on them either.
It may seem a bit crude, but one of the best ways to view this part of your life is to see it as a new opportunity. Of course, you don’t want to go off skipping down the street and pretending not to care. Let’s be realistic. This would be false on your part and will only hurt the other person even more.
A friend or relative might be the most important person in your life immediately after a break-up, simply because it is not a good idea to spend a lot of time alone. You will need some time away from others, time to reflect and think about what lies ahead. But there will also be a need for someone to help you through the tough days, even holding your hand at crucial moments. *Tip: Don’t hesitate to ask for help or for someone to talk to.
One of the great suggestions or ideas that can come from sharing this time with a trusted friend or relative is this: You are responsible for being happy, now and in the future. It’s easy to forget this when you have experienced the break-up trauma. Talking with someone you trust may help you grasp this concept.
Some of us have heard the old saying that certain people aren’t “happy” unless they’re miserable. Some folks just like to wallow in self-pity, spending their days feeling sorry for themselves. In simple terms – this is not the way to get past a break-up situation. We have to get out of this frame of mind as soon as possible.
It’s time to start thinking about what our future purpose will be. Even if our life revolved around that one special person before, we have to set some sort of goal or objective that will give us that new purpose, the sooner the better. It may seem that there is nothing that will replace what was just lost. But everyone has some interest or former hobby, no matter how deeply buried, which could be given new life.
In addition to dealing with the self-doubt, trying to focus on some new interest and accepting or seeking help, it’s wise to know what we should not do after we have experienced a break-up. First and foremost, it’s best not to try and remain friends (at least not right away). Fill your time with something new and make the break as cleanly as possible.