Jealousy can be a frustrating, maddening emotion. It’s also been described as one of the most confusing human emotions because we have negative feelings about someone else’s good fortune. While we will all feel some slight jealousy on occasion it is important not to let this emotion, this mind-set, limit us or stop us from leading happy, productive lives.
How do we get rid of jealousy? First we have to recognize it for what it is and try to get it under control. We need to know what is causing our jealousy. This information must be specific to our situation, so we can deal with the root cause.
Start with this procedure: As soon as you recognize that you are jealous of someone or because of something, stop what you are doing and ask yourself the tough question – Why am I jealous? Or you may phrase it this way: What is causing me to feel this way?
Honesty is Best Policy
Be honest! Do you feel slighted because someone else has something you want? Is the most important person in your life giving you reasons to be upset or jealous? If the source of your jealousy is a boy/girl or man/woman issue you need to figure out just what it is the other person is doing to cause your mental and emotional upset. If he or she is being friendly with another person and you don’t like it, you may have located the source of your jealousy.
It may be time for the “what if” statements or questions, such as “So what if he talks to her. It doesn’t really mean anything.” You might ask, “What is the worst that can come of this action?” These are simply ways for you to gain control of your jealousy, on the way to getting rid of it. You must acknowledge your jealousy and then start digging into the “why” immediately.
Talk About It
Using this same example, the next step should probably be a quiet, private conversation with the other individual. This allows you to get the subject out in the open and helps you gain control of what might otherwise be a “wild” emotion. Use reasonable thinking and listen carefully to what the other person says about the situation or activity. Remember, you are not trying to fix a broken world. You are just making an effort to control and understand your feelings of jealousy.
If your jealousy is of a different nature, you might have to take slightly different route to getting rid of this emotion. Suppose you are jealous of another person’s clothing or possessions. Maybe you even wish you had some of his or her money and you express this as jealousy. First of all, you have to acknowledge that your emotion is going to limit you. Being jealous will keep you from being as happy as you can be.
You may have to change your mind set by focusing on the positive things in your life. Again, you can’t fix all that you see as “wrong” in your life, not right away. First you have to deal with the emotion called jealousy. Acknowledge it, examine it and don’t’ deny it. Otherwise it will grow beyond your control.